How Checkpoints Can Transform Your Child’s Motivation: A Simple Parenting Strategy

The Early Days of Parenting

When I first became a parent, I was determined to give my children everything they needed to thrive. I believed that if they were well-fed, well-rested, and surrounded by love, they would naturally be motivated to do their work and behave well. I thought I was doing everything right. Breakfast was always a hearty meal, lunch was packed with their favorites, and dinner was a family feast.

Despite my best efforts, I often found myself frustrated. My children would be grumpy, unmotivated, and resistant to doing their schoolwork or chores. I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong. I was feeding them well, ensuring they had everything they needed, so why weren’t they responding the way I expected?

A Realization

One day, during a particularly challenging week, I had an epiphany. I was chatting with my friend Tom, a fellow parent who also ran a small business. He made a simple yet profound analogy that changed my perspective completely. “Imagine,” he said, “paying all your employees on Friday and hoping they show up for work on Monday. Would that work?” The answer was, of course, a resounding no.

Tom’s words struck a chord with me. I realized I had been doing exactly that with my children. I was giving them everything upfront—meals, treats, playtime—and expecting them to reciprocate with good behavior and diligence in their tasks. But just like employees need the incentive of a paycheck after their work, my children needed to earn their rewards.

Implementing Checkpoints

With this new insight, I decided to make a change. I introduced the concept of checkpoints—specific times of the day tied to meals where certain tasks had to be completed before enjoying the rewards of eating. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner became natural breaks in the day to establish these checkpoints.

Starting Small

I knew that breaking old habits wouldn’t be easy, so I started small. Before breakfast, I asked my children to complete one simple task, such as putting away their toys from the previous night. Before lunch, another small task, like putting their bike back in the garage. Before dinner, perhaps hanging up their jackets and backpacks. These tasks were not difficult, but they were a step towards instilling a sense of responsibility and structure.

A Story of Transformation

Let me share a specific story about my 15-year-old son. Over the years, he had developed some bad habits—a lack of motivation, poor self-esteem, and a tendency to neglect his schoolwork and chores. I realized that I had unknowingly contributed to this by constantly trying to make things easier for him, rather than helping him develop the skills to manage his responsibilities.

One evening, I decided to introduce a reward system for dinner. Garlic bread, a family favorite, became a special privilege. To earn garlic bread at dinner, my son had to complete all his schoolwork and chores throughout the week. At first, he was skeptical and a bit resistant. But as the week went on, I noticed a change. He started to put more effort into his schoolwork, help out more around the house, and even began cooperating with his siblings more willingly.

By the end of the week, he had earned his garlic bread. The look of pride and accomplishment on his face was priceless. This simple change in our routine had a profound impact. He felt a sense of achievement, his self-esteem improved, and he began to understand the value of working towards a goal.

The Subtle Shift

This experience taught me the power of shifting from giving everything upfront to having my children earn their privileges. Simple items like garlic bread, apple juice, or chocolate milk became motivating rewards. This subtle shift made a significant difference in our daily routine and overall family dynamics.

Share Your Experience

I encourage you to try implementing checkpoints with your children. Start small, be consistent, and watch as they begin to develop a sense of responsibility and motivation. I’d love to hear your stories! Join our Facebook group and connect with same-minded parents! https://www.facebook.com/groups/234018759466412/